God is in control

In the middle of a mess. We are trying to get our house ready to sell, pack, finish up the last days of school, and find a house 100 miles away......all at the same time. We are surprisingly calm. We keep telling ourselves that God is in control. He alone orchestrated this whole job.....surely He will orchestrate the move also. I know the housing market is slow. I know our house needs some work. I also know the Lord is going to take care of us. That's not to say I don't have moments of complete panic. I have instances of paralysis. Looking around at ALL I have to do and not being able to do anything really. We're interested in 2 houses in the Columbus area. I'm waiting for a couple of calls to be returned....we shall see. I think I've also learned a lesson about fear this week. Hope to post more about that when my current project gets wrapped up. I packed up all my scrappin supplies yesterday. Talk about hard! The time in my life when I most need a creative outlet and I had to put all my stuff away. Not knowing when I'll see it again. God is in control God is in control............

safety issues

I've spent a lot of time crying today. With our big move coming up I've been worried about our kids safety. How will they fare in a big school? What about bullies and will they make new friends? And the biggie for me...will our new neighborhood be safe? I live in a safe neighborhood now right? Small town, everyone knows everyone elses business. My kids can play in the backyard and walk to and from the bus stop. At least I thought they could. I was wrong. This morning I learned that a man just around the corner from us is raping and molesting boys. Boys that share the same bus stop as my babies. Boys that I see every morning. And it's been going on for a long time. This monster of a man is best friends with these kids father. He has known them since the day they were born. This man also has access to my backyard. My safe backyard. Or so I thought. I have thanked Jesus countless times today for protecting my little ones. Specifically Isaac as this man seems to like 9-11 year old boys. But wait....that's not all I learned. Another neighbor confided in me that this same horror is possibly happening in a house much closer to me. But it's a little girl. And I'm close to her. I have fed her, corrected her, played with her, taken her to church, and given her a slice of what family is supposed to be. But most of all I have loved her. It didn't start out that way. At first she was a nuisance who wouldn't go away. She was dirty and hungry and alone. She didn't know boundaries or rules. After a lot of prayer and correction she blossomed. Jesus opened my eyes and let me see her as He sees her. And then I loved her. Over the years she has spent a lot of time over here....and then suddenly we didn't see her as much. She just disappeared from our yard and dinner table. I had some niggling feelings that something was wrong. But I just brushed it off as her getting older. Oh how I wish I would of pulled her aside and questioned her. I failed her. There was an incident 2 years ago that keeps playing back in my head. My heart told me to go intervene but my head said no...it's just a little girl throwing a huge major fit while her brother was babysitting. I failed her. The screaming and wailing that came from her house that warm Summer day brought 3 neighbors out. We all stared at the house wondering what we should do. Finally one of us yelled through the open window. We were assured everything was fine. We all walked away. I have never forgotten that day. I just knew something wasn't quite right. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not following up. I should have followed my heart and yanked her out of that house immediately. To say I've been on the verge of nausea all day would be an understatement. I just want to go wrap my arms around that little girl and love away all the hurt and pain she has had to endure. And I want to apologize for not following my heart and protecting her. She needed us and we all walked away. All this to say...no neighborhood is completely safe. It doesn't matter if God moves our family to the big city or we stay here. Sin is everywhere. It abounds. And it can come from the people you trust the most. We need to be vigilant about protecting our kids no matter where God chooses for us to live. We need to cover our babies in prayer and trust that Jesus has them in the palm of His hand. I'm begging you to use discretion in discussing this matter. Neither one of these cases are public knowledge and the kids themselves deserve privacy and annonimity. Thank you.

journey of faith

I have been wanting desperately to blog about this for a month and now that the time has come I am suddenly at a loss for words. For the last several years we have been wondering what exactly God had in store for us. Andy really wanted a career change and it just wasn't happening. We spent many nights on our knees in prayer, but yet wrestling with God. Where exactly was the big payoff of all Andy's schooling? Did God forget about us? After a couple of years all the "just trust in God...He will move you in His time" answers began to sound old and tired. Maybe this IS what God has in store for us. Andy quit applying to jobs and we moved on. Then this happened:

• 3rd week in April a lady Andy has never heard of called him at work. Asked him if he'd be interested in being considered for a job in Columbus. The details sounded wonderful and he said yes.
• he updated his resume and she gave us a few more details of the job. I started to get really excited. It really felt God inspired to me. I very prematurely started a house search. Found one I loved!
• April 22nd she called back and said the company had rejected Andy. I was devastated!! My husband is fabulous....how much rejection does he have to go through? I have felt all along that if he could just get an interview he could get a job. I went to bed very early that night...I figured I would cry myself to sleep. Instead I listened to Lifehouse's No Name Face cd. The words to those songs really helped me to humble myself before God. I came to terms with the fact that it is all in God's timing and God's timing for us may very well be never. I thanked Him for all the wonderful things I DID have and went to sleep. It was a life changing conversation we had. We all have moments of growth and this was definitely one for me. I woke up the next morning with a new resolve.
• April 23rd (the very next day) I was completely over the disappointment of the day before. I felt closer to The Lord than I had in awhile. Asher and I had a wonderful morning. Andy came home for lunch and told me he had gotten another call about the job. This time it was the lady's boss. He apologized to Andy and explained that he had just learned of the situation. Told Andy he had the best resume and background he had ever seen. He had called the potential job and told them they were making a mistake in not looking at Andy. Wanted to know if Andy would be interested in re-submitting his resume. Dumbfounded, Andy agreed. Apparently the first lady misrepresented Andy the first time-implying he worked at a small machine shop when it is in fact an 80 million dollar a year company.
• The company called Andy and asked if he would be available for a phone interview. They set it up for Friday.
• Phone interview went wonderful and they asked Andy to come and visit their facility the very next Friday.
• The Wednesday before the in person visit Andy receives another call. This one for a government job that he applied to a year ago. No kidding. The job posting disappeared shortly after he applied and he never thought another thing about it. Andy has always wanted a gov job and this one is a teaching position which is perfect for him. They set up a phone interview for the following Monday.
• Fridays in person facility tour went wonderfully. If you're going to work in production this is the place to do it. They treat their people with respect and have some awesome perks.
• Andy came home from the interview with a not so great attitude. The gov job was looming over his head. That's the one he thinks he really wants but he's sure the Columbus ones gonna come through with an offer. He prays for a way to stall until he finds out the deal with the gov thing. I go to bed dejected that Andy's turning away from a great opportunity. He should be excited instead of thinking of ways to turn them down. I went to bed mad. Then prayed and gave it over to God. I fell asleep content with the fact that Andy may lose both opportunities. It's Andy's decision and he'll do what's best for our family.
• Monday....Andy's phone interview with the gov. Goes great and he's sure he'll eventually be offered the job. Gov is slow though and he can't gamble away Col possibility just because he thinks he could be offered the job at some point. He's told he'll know something in 2-4 weeks.
• Andy gets the scoop on Columbus. They love him!!! He's their top pick so far but their policy is to interview 3 candidates so they must follow procedure and interview 1 more. This is the stall Andy prayed for.
• Andy confides in someone and they tell him he's crazy to blindly turn down the Columbus area job. It's a fantastic company with infinite potential. This wisdom changes Andy's whole attitude. He starts to see Columbus as a good thing again.
• a week goes by. We wait very patiently.
• Monday the headhunter calls to let us know that Andy is the top choice in Columbus.
• Later in the day on Monday Columbus calls to ask Andy back to their facility. We start freaking out. We know he will be presented with an offer. They schedule a Thursday meeting.
• What about the gov? Andy calls them on Monday and explains the situation. The guy is super disappointed. He sounds really dumbfounded. Andy decides that if he is offered a job on Thursday he's taking it.
• Tuesday at 8:37 am government guy calls and says the job posting came back from H.R. He can't give Andy any details but urges him to call H.R. himself. He explains to Andy that this is the fastest he has ever seen anything come through the H.R. dept. (God anyone?)
• Andy is so conflicted that it is tearing him up inside.
• Wednesday-our 14th anniversary. Andy calls gov H.R. only to be told that they can't tell him anything. And furthermore if he did indeed get the job they would have up until 120 days to notify him. This seals the deal....Andy is taking Columbus.
• A couple of hours later we checked our voicemail. Gov H.R. lady called us back. Andy checks the time. It's about 5:05pm. Surely she's out of the office. I urge Andy to call her anyways...you never know. Turns out she is calling out of Indianapolis so is 1 hour behind us. He calls and disappears down to the basement with the phone.
• He comes back up about 15 minutes later looking totally dazed. "I got the job" he says. He proceeds to tell me the salary and job info. It's in Cleveland. He has finally gotten the job that he's been after all these years. But something doesn't feel quite right to him.
• Thursday is the 3rd interview with Columbus. He goes and has a closed door meeting with his potential staff. He really likes them and they really like him. He is offered the job and accepts. It's a wonderful package!
• On his way home he calls to tell me the good news. As he's telling me he has a complete panic attack and has to pull over. By the time he gets home he is as confused as ever.
• Thursday night we pray a lot. We go over the pros and cons of both careers. We look at the long term and short term. Andy is really feeling pulled towards Columbus...which is a huge surprise. He never thought he wanted to be in production.

In the end, what it came down to, is trusting and following God. Even though the government opportunity is what he has wanted and dreamt of, it's not what God wants for us at this time. It just has a dark and gloomy feel to it. I really can't explain it but we didn't have any peace about it. Whereas the Columbus job feels full of promise and a wide open future. We went back and forth with this decision for 2 days. Were we making a huge mistake? Everything just seemed to be pointing towards Columbus. The Lord has made it clear to us the path we are supposed to be following and we are going to obey and follow him. No matter how scary. No matter how far out of our comfort zone. We are stepping out in complete faith....we are indeed completely dependant on Him. We are packing up everything we own and blindly moving our family in a new direction. Hope you will join us on our journey of faith.....

By the way sorry for the bad grammar and puntuation and spelling it is really late and I'm too tired to care.

bits and pieces

I haven't been posting much lately but I have been crafting. I altered these paint cans for the kids teachers in honor of National Teacher Appreciation Week. They had tags attached that said " thanks for making me a smartie" and we filled them up with smarties!! I thought they were pretty cute. I also made a 20 page album for my Aunt Jackie and filled it with her vacation pictures. She sent the pictures over in the first place so I could make her a movie out of them. Figured I had access to the pics I may as well make her a book. We also altered one of Asher's reading books. It seems a lot of the "firepeoples" books are going politically correct on us. It's hard to find one that has a boy for the main character. So we just changed the girl into Asher. Everyone in the house loves the new book. You can hear giggles throughout the whole house when someone is reading it. I'll share pictures soon but it's still a work in progress!! I've also been spending some time working on the kids albums. I'm posting those pictures on my scrappy chic blog. Check them out!

It was another successful grandparents day at school this year. Paw Paw got a free show and Noni learned that Isaac's teacher really loves him. I was thrilled to hear this last bit as who doesn't want other people to love their kids. Seriously, I think Isaac is hard to warm up to at first but once people really get to know him they figure out just how amazing he really is. Wow talk about a run on sentence.... My point is at the beginning of every school year I always worry if Isaac and his new teacher will click....it makes me very happy when they do.

Asher says I know A LOT! The kid must know everything. I was trying to figure why he says it ALL the time.....then I realized I say it all the time. Sort of mindlessly. The funny thing is when Isaac was very little he used to say okay all the time. Sort of under his breath when he was moving from one task to another. Like checking off a to do list in his brain. I couldn't figure out for the life of me where he picked this up from. Until one fine day I caught myself doing it. It's one of my little quirks I didn't even know I possessed until my boy pointed it out.

What I'm reading: Do Hard Things. This book is so good. It was written by twin teenage brother's for teenager's. This book will be a must read for my kids when they hit 12 or 13. Definitely mandatory reading for them someday.

What I'm listening to: Lifehouse's No Name Face. I love this CD. It so totally fits where I am at in my life right now at this very moment.

Need to sign off for now....my family is pampering me.

baggage

My brother in law Shaun and I had a conversation a couple of years ago that has stuck in my head ever since. We were discussing the baggage in our lives that we carry around. We all have it in some form or another. Really, it's part of who we are in a way. Our conversation centered on putting negative baggage down and then leaving it there. Not picking it back up again. Really just giving the yucky stuff to God and letting Him Take care of it. We all say we do this, but how many times do we go and take it back from God? I have a bizzare mental picture of wrestling God for an old beat up suitcase that for some odd reason I want control of? I mean really, why not just let God keep it and dispose of it the way only He can.

My baggage the last couple weeks has been worry. Worry over things I have absolutely no control over. I'm not eating or sleeping. The worry is paralyzing really....I'm not functioning, able to only think about my situation. It's not bad worry really. It's good and exciting but it's ruling my life just the same. Like I said this had been going on for a couple of weeks. Then last Friday I had a life changing moment. God and I had a little chat. I gave God my baggage (worry) and have not picked it back up since. Seriously. I am in the midst of a life changing season (don't ask, I can't tell) and I am completely trusting that God has it under control. I mean I've always "known" God is in control, but I'm able to accept it and live it now. Don't ask me why this time is different because... I don't know. I had personally dumped my worry about this particular situation off on The Lord's doorstep so many times over the last several years. But I always crept back into His house in the deep dark of night and stolen my suitcase back. I'm not picking it back up this time. God can have it. I have been crazy peaceful and dare I say, serene, this past week. What will be will be. God will take my family down His path no matter what. We handed our lives over to Him long ago. He knows the future. None of my worry or fretting or hand wringing will change that. This has been such a year of growth for me...this is just one of the steps along the way. Soon I hope to be able to share the details of a chess game I'm involved in. I know I know I don't actually play chess. I save that for Andy and Isaac. However, I am a chess piece on God's chess board and he's an awesome strategist!!!! Can't wait to share......

Transitions?

AAAAAHHHHGGGGG!!!!! That's all. Just that.